Are you feeling the balance yet as we all begin growing more light? For many the surreal life just got more surreal.
Anyone else feel as if we are living out a very curious dream?
Are you feeling the gap closing from intention to manifestation? Or do you feel a world swirling beyond that doesn’t make sense to what you know inside to be right and true? Maybe you feel a sense of peace despite it all? Or are you feeling a strange panic that has you by the heart despite your knowing that Source/God/Creator has it all? Feeling the dance of light even as the world plays with textures of the contrast?
Much of these are the swing sets and seesaws on the playgrounds of our Ego.
Ego is defined as “I” in Latin, (dictionary.com), or “the self especially as contrasted with another self in the world.” (Merriam-Webster)
In the surreal upon surreal world, after saying for weeks I felt called to dance in the elemental snow, out of the blue, I was offered a part in a beautiful movie celebrating much I adore – good storytelling, uplifting themes of true love, truth, and integrity. The location: in the snowy mountains! My heart’s knock met with a dreamy manifestation.
Yesterday, eight of our cast had a deep conversation at dinner about spirituality and ego – how actors are perceived as some of the most egoic, yet truly, to be fully in character one’s ego must be utterly released to allow true “being” in the moment. You must lose SELF- consciousness to be open to the magic creating a new character and the next more expansive moment. And even though we might study well, memorize many lines, rehearse, block, hit our marks, and know how the story turns out, in order to allow greatness to flow we have to drop expectations and open to something better – inspiration. The Latin origin of inspiration is “in spirit” or “God-breathed.” An inspired performance much like an inspired life requires releasing ego or the “I” to a higher power. In life we know we all eventually die, but how we will “play” our parts/life is open to inspiration.
I took Psychology at UCLA, but the concept of ego confounded me. I defined it as the ultimate conceit and a derogatory word, but as I get older and dance with more I’ve realized this ego is often the great protector of the self, sometimes helping the mind discern what is right, true, or safe. Daily the Dancing Hands teach me the lesson of connecting from the heart to soul and Source, but not ego. When purest Source Energy comes through these hands, Jane’s brain and ego can’t be invested in the equation beyond showing up and offering a prayer because all that I know is far too limited compared to the God-mind or pure Source Energy. To be in service and in integrity to the flow of the All-Good, I am literally hands, heart, and body being danced by purest Source.
When in Hawaii, after two long, beautiful, and full days of our Aloha Rising Retreat, I found myself at the Oahu hospital bed of a dear friend who had unexpectedly found herself ill once again in a new way despite her own self-healing abilities and our many positively transformative sessions of dancing hands. She was angry that she missed our retreat and I was perplexed. Jane’s/my ego wished my friend to be all better and right away, but sometimes there are layers and lessons in the world of Source energy that draw us out to experience knowledge with patience and alternative healing events beyond our imagining.
Two of our Aloha Rising participants had driven me to the hospital and with our friend’s sister’s permission my hands set to work as the three observed with love. I “knew” very little of the particulars, much like the doctors who’d only been making educated guesses. It was clear that our friend was fairly incoherent when we arrived and begged relief.
My hands began working on parts of the body I’d not danced before. I could feel the energy draw specific and problematic swelling out of her and soon, in greater comfort, she went into a deeper place here she went silent many minutes before she finally whispered three little words showing me exactly her state. I, myself, have been here many times before Source had propelled me into the next journey of allowing/learning and I was so moved hearing my sister there, too. I blinked back tears, grateful to witness this shift, feeling the tenderness well inside me that again, this was far beyond Jane. This was purest Source work and I was but a happy witness as my hands gently and purposefully danced.
A few minutes later my friend open her eyes wide, gave thanks, made a joke (!) and then said yes to the soothing oils that our other new friends from the Aloha Rising Retreat brought for her feet.
Her voice and demeanor seemed much more back to her old self again.
Breathing was easier again, pain diminished. It was time for more rest for her. There was more coming – another layer had been addressed, but like a multi-layered prayer she’d need other support. Within the next two days a brand new doctor appeared insisting upon another surgery on another part of her body to try and aid a different, mysterious challenge which had manifested from the last time they’d opened her up and left a piece inside, (!), but at least, for now, where we’d worked pain was better, head was clearer than it’d been for days and yes, new gifts were opening and ongoing. She later shared that her sister and her roommate in the hospital room both said they felt better afterwards, too. The work had overflowed to help in ways we couldn’t have defined before, but it was as if angels had been dispensed to continue on. Is it exactly what she or “i” wanted? It wasn’t healing all in one fell swoop, but we agreed even today as I worked on her again, this is an ongoing story of trust and opening, trust and growth, trust and more trust. Again, I am and remain in trust here that with the clearest intentions for my friend’s best and highest good that where she is is exactly as it is meant to be.
I am learning, no matter how personal the connection – my ego, my self, my humble knowledge has little place here, save to drive the vehicle from event to event, but my heart is all in. I have ideas of what I think is up, but always, always, always I must give my-self of limitation and ego up to how God/Source/purest Energy is dancing with us all for our best and highest good.
How might you give yourself this way this week?
Is it taking a break from the computer or phone to meditate how you might also be more connected to your sacred path?
Is it feeling the power of the sunshine or moonlight on your own hands?
Is it listening to the heart breaking as it sees a snowy vista, a crashing wave or a lonely soul who lost their love? Be present to the wonder of it all.